once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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