The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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