it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
