Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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