oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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