omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
