Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
