shes about as inviting as chlamydia
now i know why i became what i already was.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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