Do vagina's smell?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
