i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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