cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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