like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
