OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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