I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
