how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
