So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
