Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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