just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
