I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
