I cannot find my penis.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
