The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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