: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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