True but thats because hes a fetus.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
