About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I deserve this hangover.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
