How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
