Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Is Oprah even human
It was a blind-side dick pic.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
