dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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