How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Randomize