It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize