Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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