No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
