so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize