Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
