I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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