hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
