Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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