Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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