you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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