My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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