What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
