Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize