Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
