she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
