I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
why is half of my head shaved?
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