quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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