Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
