Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
