tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
