That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
