So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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