after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
