either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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