I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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