i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize