Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
