proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
