You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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