the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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